Hey woman!

What exactly defines a lady and how feminine she is?

Is it her...

Breasts:

Yes reasonably sized breasts would be nice. Too big(as in E size and above) and as the years go by it's only going to sag and touch the ground (I've got a friend who refers to the gigantic ones as cancerous growths). Too small or none at all, well there are definitely guys out there who have bigger ones than that. But do they really matter? Yes, they do. Alright, honestly if she's a show stopper, than well it's alright if she has pimples for breasts. No wait, more like mosquito bites. Cos' if you were to squeeze pimple-breasts there would be puss. Ewww...gross.

Legs:

Nice long legs would be sexy, but a pair of short legs doesn't make her any less sexier does it? The only fucking thing that truly matters is that she damn well shaves. If she doesn't, I might as well date a fucking amputee for God's sake.

Lips:

Thick and juicy? Thin and sensual? Either one would be nice. Just think Jolie or Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Eyes:

Big and round or small and (whatever that goes with small). As long as she can see, it would be good. That doesn't mean I discriminate girls who are blind. I like blind girls. Cos' if you were to cheat on them, they wouldn't be able to remember your face. All you've got to do is to change your voice and make them love you again.

Telemarketers are very good at that.

The way she dresses:

Yes guys would love to have girls dress femininely. That doesn't mean she has to wear dresses all the time right? Tees with jeans or singlets with fbt shorts would do just fine too. No one wants a girl who's scared at the size of her breasts by wearing a sports bra and wears berms and tees/shirts all the time would we?

Hair:

Does it really matter how long her fucking hair is? Absolutely not.

Looks:

God damn, obviously we guys love our girls to look like Olivia Wilde/Megan Fox/Zooey Deschanel damn it. Are our standards too high?

Alright, seriously. There are a whole different variety of them; from lians to cute cuddly hello kitties to hot and sexy models to girls next door to even cougars.

And well, yes to each his own.

The way she puts herself out there:

Every guy loves a girl who has a confident stride in her walk. Unless of course you're the kind of guy who likes girls who have low self-esteem or those who love to get drunk and who literally put themselves out there, so that you can take advantage of their insecurities (e.g. models).

Character/Personality:

To each his own.

[The reason why I placed Character/personality as the last one on the list is because, the only things we see are her physical traits if we were to see her first. If you were to tell me that I'm shallow, then I would kindly ask you to go fuck a llama. Yes both character and personality are important but not immediately. Men are visual creatures, we only like what we see. That is why we know for sure that if some random girl were to call us and she has a sweet voice, she is most definitely fugly plus she has got to be fat.

Girls do the exact same thing. If the guy isn't cute she couldn't care less, even if he were to make the effort to approach her. But then it also depends on what comes out of his mouth when he is standing about 1m away from her.

Yes attraction isn't a choice, but all of us do have a list of what we want in the opposite sex. We will most likely never ever meet the girl of our dreams unless of course you're either Tao ruspoli or Bad Pitt or your dream girl is the auntie selling ang ku kueh at the market. But that said, I don't think the ones they married were exactly the girl of their dreams.

You see along the way, we always end up making adjustments to that list of ours (e.g. A guy who has a fetish for only Caucasian women could be dating or married to an Asian woman) and that is perfectly normal.]

So what exactly defines a lady?

I would love to say vagina, but with the number of guys going under the knife these days it's scary to know that there's a possibility she could have been a guy. And besides a hole isn't that hard to make now days. Fuck.

(After googling what defines a lady, I just realized none of us really know. It's just a bunch of words that could also be related to what defines a man. Except for well, "...her sexuality is half of the reproduction process and the propagation of our species".)

So can femininity be defined with any particular set of qualities?

Yes I think it can. Society has it's own and each one of us have our own too.

Alright alright... for every girl that's out there, there is most definitely a guy out there who finds that particular girl attarctive. And fuck you, I do not believe in soul mates, and neither do I believe in knights in shiny armour who will come to save their damsel in distress while riding on horses.

The only one riding should be her.... and that is, on you.